StayHomeRetreat
Lesson 5
A lesson of Looking Back
I thought this piece and title so appropriate for where we find ourselves in this present moment.
Looking back…. everything pre-lockdown seemed much less complicated, right?
It may not have been perfect but maybe just a little more comfortable than where we find ourselves today. I keep thinking and looking back to our time in September, when we were flitting around Italy so happy and free or when we were in the throws of final school exams, valedictories and enrolling in university. The excitement was off-the-charts. No one could have predicted that a worldwide pandemic was coming. I know we want to look back and go back to a time we know and find comfort in because looking ahead seems too overwhelming and uncertain right now. We are heading into unchartered territories… emotionally, economically and physically.
We are stuck in the in-between worlds of past and future… and here we are right in the middle….
… perhaps we are in a liminal space.
My inspiration and reference
“Liminal space is an inner state and sometimes an outer situation where we can begin to think and act in new ways. It is where we are betwixt and between, having left one room or stage of life but not yet entered the next. We usually enter liminal space when our former way of being is challenged or changed. In such space, we are not certain or in control. This global pandemic we now face is an example of an immense, collective liminal space.”
I love this conversation of liminality. Courteney and I have had some very deep conversations about it. It came up in her degree and when I was working with Gillian on BABW, it is a concept I’ve been digging deeper into ever since.
Funny enough living in a liminal space is something I’m actually rather familiar with. I think part of me not living in my country of origin has contributed towards that. Moving to South Africa just before I turned 6 always had me feeling like I didn’t quite belong here but couldn’t really explain why, leaving me feeling a little out of my body. Like I was here in my physical but always feeling poised to move on… never really knowing where that would be either. Stuck in the in between spaces of this life. At times I have felt sad about being a little lost in translation or transition but the deeper I’m going into philosophy and yogic philosophy, the more I am understanding about living in this present moment, the more I’m realizing that perhaps living in liminality is actually the best place to be, not looking back and not looking too far ahead but rather living in the right now.
“Liminal space is where we are most teachable, often because we are most humbled. Liminality keeps us in an ongoing state of shadowboxing instead of ego-confirmation, struggling with the hidden side of things, and calling so-called normalcy into creative question. It’s no surprise then that we generally avoid liminal space. Much of the work of authentic spirituality and human development is to get people into liminal space and to keep them there long enough that they can learn something essential and new.”
To me, a world being in “an immense collective liminal space” has been utterly humbling. This silent virus has reminded us of our fragility and vulnerability and perhaps how we have forgotten these things in the false constructs of the times we are living in.
We have this forced time to be still and quiet and to deep think. To deeply feel our sadness, our fear and our utter vulnerability. I am so grateful we have had each other and our creativity to hold us together during these times.
I loved this reference so much that I drew her in graphite and painted her in gouache too. I would love to continue doing a study of her beautiful face and expression. I always thought I didn’t like repeating the same face but I have grown to love the exercise and practice that comes from deep studying of the same reference, don’t be afraid to try it. It will help you really get to know this beautiful face. The graphite helped me slow down and study the negative spaces together with the cast shadows and highlights.
Working with graphite is always pleasing and a beautiful meditative practice, I encourage you to draw her too.
Try draw her without measuring up and try eyeball her proportions and tweak on the go. It’s a brilliant way to practice getting your eye in and seeing what needs to be seen. Work freely and expressively.
Let’s begin…
Lesson - Draw up
I drew her up with brown stabilo and then I used black stabilo to work in darker shadows. Once I was happy with my draw-up, I started adding water and to help lay down my first layers. This is a very gentle way to start a painting.
Supplies List
Canvas of your choice, I used 11”x8”.
Paints I used: Paynes Grey, Raw Umber, Green and dark green, Violet, Venetian Rose, Red, Warm Grey, Titan Buff and White.
Brown and Black Stabilo.
Reference Image.
Unfortunately I didn’t get to talk too much during this lesson because with the lockdown, my house is full of humans, all having zoom conference calls and school so there are not many quiet moments currently. Plus my neighbor was using a chainsaw to cut down his tree. I did get to speak a little near the end in between the noises but mostly it’s just a painting from beginning to end.
My painting method is wet on wet. My paint is rather creamy and perhaps thinner than a heavy body paint and that’s why I do so many layers and I tend to mix my colors together on my canvas with a wet brush and wet paint. I also tend to use bigger brushes for a more expressive style and it helps me remain a little more unattached to the outcome. When I feel myself getting constricted and tight, I move back to my bigger brushes. If I feel I have lost my way, I use my stabilo pencils to help me pull back details and I also also work out my proportions on the go mainly because this was an exercise for me in working with a reference and studying her face and expression whilst still working intuitively and in my own style.
Hair tips - I used Raw Umber, Paynes Grey for her hair and I usually add Venetian Rose (my peach color) in my hair to create movement. I never use solid / flat color for my hair. It is just a little technique that I found works for me.
If you can’t find Venetian Rose paint, I also recommend Sennelier Rose Blush Tint 650.
Lesson - Painting
In review…
Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions and I hope you love working with this reference as much as I did. She was a joy to discover on my page. Thank you for letting me share her with you.
Leaving you with some final thoughts…
“I hope you might consider this: What happened is inexplicably incredible. It’s the greatest gift ever unwrapped. Not the deaths, not the virus, but The Great Pause. It is, in a word, profound. Please don’t recoil from the bright light beaming through the window. I know it hurts your eyes. It hurts mine, too. But the curtain is wide open. What the crisis has given us is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see ourselves and our country in the plainest of views. At no other time, ever in our lives, have we gotten the opportunity to see what would happen if the world simply stopped.
Here it is. We’re in it. ”
Maybe we will never fully understand this time and what was the right thing to do but all we can do is try be ready for the day when the City Gates reopen.
